Life is good!

I can't believe it's not even noon yet! Today has been a pretty eventful day so far. I woke up around 7am and started working out at about 7:30, and finished at 8. Then I went back to the apartment, paid my court payment online, and got ready for school. I left the house at around 9, and got to my parent's house at about 10. My dad helped me get a big TV into my car (he was just giving it away and the only TV Will and I have is very tiny), and then I started working on my paper for Marketing while watching Killer Klowns From Outer Space. My paper is almost done and it's not even noon yet!

I asked my brother if he wanted to go to Sushi Hana with me, but he said no because he just wasn't in the mood. Lame. I still have to have lunch, get my oil changed, do my presentation in Cost Accounting (which I'm wearing my outfit for and it's very uncomfortable), and go to my stupid evening class tonight. I hate my evening class! It's three hours long and cuts into dinner time! Good thing I packed a pita that I'll probably eat right before class. Oh, and I might get to see Missy after school tonight! It just depends on how tired I am by 9pm.

I just finished my paper and e-mailed it to my group. So far everything is going great! I just hope my presentation today goes well. I don't even really have to present anything, I just have to keep track of the jeopardy score and see who raises their hand.

Sick!

The party on Friday night was awesome. I actually passed out for two hours and woke up completely sober, so I could drive Will and myself home safely! The next morning, my throat was hurting REALLY badly. I assumed that it was from the hard alcohol we had (it was some kind of cinnamon schnapps), but it lasted all day long! Will and I actually got a $5 large pizza from Little Caesar's as well as a two-liter Mountain Dew. Even after all that Mountain Dew, my throat was still killing me!

Then, in the middle of the night last night, the pain in my throat shifted to the other side. That's when I knew that I was coming down with something. So yeah, I've been sick in bed all freaking day! I took some aspirin and felt a little better (no more headache and other weird body pains), but my throat is still killing me and I have a runny/stuffy nose. Will went out to buy me soup and medicine, but the relief is extremely temporary. It sucks so bad! I hope I feel better by Tuesday because my group is having a meeting during class.

On the bright side, I took my Cost Accounting mid-term today and I got an A-! I didn't even study that hard (how hard would you study if you were sick!?), so I'm really surprised. Other than that, I haven't done much at all. The day seemed to fly by very quickly; I can't believe it's nearly 8:30 at night! I just finished my reading for U.S. History so now I have to take the reading quiz. I almost forgot about it; they're due every Sunday by midnight. Close one because I was only planning on taking the mid-term today and doing nothing else, lol.

Party Tonight!

It feels it it's been ages since I wrote in here! I've been extremely busy because I'm taking 26 credits at school. I'm actually going to two schools right now, so it's pretty confusing. I'm taking five online classes through the local community college, but I'm also taking three on-campus courses at the local university. I know it sounds like I'm insane, but so far, I haven't slipped up too bad in any of my classes. I'm keeping up just as I would if I were taking less classes. In fact, most of my online classes are insanely easy and don't take very long to do at all. Well, except U.S. History. In fact, I'm just now finishing up a book review for that class that's due at midnight tonight. But I have to finish it up now because tonight at 8, I'm going to a party!

It's going to be the first party I've been to in ages. It's actually my friend Amanda's mom's birthday party, Kristen. I'm good friends with Amanda and her younger sister, Lee. But I think I've only seen Amanda and Lee maybe once or twice since I moved east, so this is pretty exciting. There's going to be tons of food there, too, because Kristen is an amazing cook. I'm obsessed with her salsa and pica de gayo! If I even spelled that right. I probably didn't.

I haven't been watching many movies lately, but I did start reading Animorphs online! That was my favorite book series when I was in 4th grade... I kept up with the series for a long time, but I wore out of it sometime during middle school. I think I stopped about six books before the series ended. So now Will and I are re-reading the series! We're only on book eight right now, mostly because I'm so busy with homework all the time. Actually, I accidentally spent an entire day reading the books, so it put me wayyy far behind on my school work.

Yesterday in particular, was pretty bad. I had to wake up at 7am so that I could finish reading this book (the one I'm writing a book review about). I had to stop reading at 10, though, so I could get ready for school. I only had about 15 more pages to read, and I was trying to finish reading it in my Marketing class, but the girl next to me wouldn't stop talking! She was telling me about how she gets to study abroad next year. Like I care. Then I finally got to finish the book after class, and I had to start on this HUGE U.S. History assignment. It took me forever. Then I had to meet up with my group, because we have a presentation on Thursday. The meeting was very short, though. After that, I had to drive to my parent's house to get some money from my dad. He gives money for gas each week. Then I had to go the bank and deposit some cash and a check I received from my community college (I dropped a class there; it's a long story). Then I finally got back to school, just in time to finish my U.S. History assignment as well as some participation assignments for my other online classes.

I decided that I couldn't go to my evening class last night, because I had a huge quiz to do online. Everyone said it took them 3-5 hours to finish, and if I waited until I got out of my evening class, I would only have two hours to do it because the quiz would close at midnight. So I got home and immediately started on the quiz... I ended up getting an 82%, which I'm not happy with. It brought my grade down to a very low A-. Oh, and I still have a huge mid-term to take on Sunday. My life is awesome, right?

It's so weird, because since I moved over six months ago, nobody really ever calls or texts me. But last night my friend Leisha texted me asking me if I wanted to do a modeling job with her, then Amanda texted to remind me about her party, then in the middle of the night my old friend Rachelle texted me about some drama that was going on with her mom... It was crazy! This morning Lee also texted me about the party.

Then this creepy guy named Ken (I modeled for him a few times in the summer of 2008 and once again about a month or two ago) texted me to ask me if I was still coming to his birthday party tomorrow... The thing is, his "birthday party" is really just going to be a stupid get-together at a bar. Not interseted, because I don't have money to spend on booze! Besides, who celebrates their birthday at a bar? Unless you're turning 21 for the first time, obviously. This guy is in his 30s, I think, and besides modeling for him a total of three times, I have no connection with the guy. My friends who have met him agree that he's creepy and weird. I can't imagine going to this bar and hanging out with a bunch of guys in their 30s... It just doesn't sound right. At all. Plus you know, the bartenders are going to think it's weird, too.

After that, Amanda called me and we talked for about 20 minutes. Then my mom called... Apparently my dad is giving away his home entertainment center, but in order to pick it up, I would need to get a pick-up truck. So that's probably not happening. Then the clinic called to remind me about my appointment on Tuesday. And yes, this all happend one right after the other. My phone is dying.

Oh yeah, and Will texted me to inform me that he left his backpack at home... I don't understand how you could forget your backpack when you're going to school! Anyway, for now I'm just waiting for him to get home, and obviously procrastinating on my book review. Seriously, I'm so close to being done, yet I'm so lazy! All I have to do is go back and cite my sources and everything, but I really don't feel like it. I'm getting hungry!

Sierra.

Sometimes, I really miss having friends. But other times, not so much. Friends can betray you, talk shit about you behind your back, and turn people against you. That has been my experience and that's why I'm constantly distancing myself from them. Everyone's two-faced.

I used to have this friend named Sierra who lived down the street from my parent's house. She was actually my only friend who lived close by (all of my other friends lived downtown, at least 20 minutes away). We had gone to high school together, but we never really hung out outside of school until about a year or two after I had graduated from our high school. She's pretty much just like every average girl; she talks crap about people, but is nice to their face. Let's face it: we're all like that. Don't deny it.

But what makes Sierra unique, is that she always tries to go back on her shit-talking. For example, one time we were talking about our friend Susan. Well, I wouldn't really call Susan a friend, but whatever. We went to high school with her, and she was a nice girl, but she would cry over EVERYTHING. Back when I had a MySpace, I would read her blogs on there, and they were all about how nobody loves her and her life sucks and she's so stressed out over something so trivial, etc, etc. She would also publicly talk shit about her friends, who would then stop being her friend for a few days before they made up. It was absolutely ridiculous. So one day, Sierra and I were talking about how annoyingly emotional Susan is. Then suddenly, I guess Sierra realized that she was talking shit and didn't want to sound like she was, so she did a 180 in the middle of our conversation. "Susan's so nice, we should hang out with her sometime!"

It was really random and it pretty much threw me off. Um, what? It almost seemed like she was trying to make me sound like a bitch while she looked like the nice one. Something similar happened on my Facebook a while back. I posted a status update about how I found out that my ex-boyfriend was working at McDonalds, and had a smart-ass comment to go with it. She replied with something really lame, "A job is a job. People should be grateful just to have one." Wow, way to be a party pooper. That was actually the day that I deleted my Facebook because I was so sick of stupid feel-good comments like that.

On the other hand, Sierra would never have a problem talking crap about other people. She talked shit about her first boyfriend, who apparently gave her HPV when she was only fourteen. She also talked shit about a girl who she referred to as "Geometry Girl" because of the way she would cut her shirts. Oh, and we can't forget her Mexican friend Maria... She would talk endless crap about her, too. I don't know, maybe Sierra just tries to be selective about who she talks shit about, whether or not her own thoughts disagree.

Movies. And A Rant.

I've been watching quite a few movies lately. Pan's Labyrinth was awesome, but I think I mentioned that in my previous post. I also watched Perfect Stranger, Red Eye, Don't Be A Menace, Adventureland, Sicko, Gran Torino, and Dead Silence.

Perfect Stranger and Red Eye were both really awesome suspense films, and Perfect Stranger had an awesome twist ending. Red Eye was pretty short, though. I'm pretty sure it was only like, an hour and a twenty minutes long. Still great, though. Adventureland was okay... I'm not really into romantic comedies and I absolutely hate Kristen Stuart, but it had its moments. Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood was sort of funny, but sort of boring/lame, like most of their movies are. I had actually already seen that movie once before, just not all the way through.

Sicko totally makes me want to move to France. All hospital visit are completely free, college education is free, and you get unlimited sick days and five weeks (minimum) of paid vacation. That sounds like the life for me! Maternity leave is also really long, and there are nannies that will take care of your kids/house for free twice per week if you have a baby!

Dead Silence scared the shit out of me and Will. We're terrified of dolls/dummies anyway, so that didn't help. Seriously, that movie wasn't that great because the plot was really corny (sort of reminded me of the 2005 Boogeyman movie), but it scared the shit out of me. Gran Torino was one of the best movies that I've seen. I highly recommend it.

I know this really annoying girl who has a blog where she posts her movie reviews... At first I thought they were pretty funny, but then they got really annoying. Kind of like her personality. She's one of the many, many friends of mine who has a kid. A one-year-old daughter. She also lies through her teeth about how wonderful her life is, when she really doesn't think so. For example, the last time I spoke to her (which was about a month ago or longer), she spoon-fed me some bullshit about how she lives in this giant house with her roommates, and she gets her own bathroom, master bedroom (lol), and laundry room. I call bullshit. That girl is completely full of it. She's upset because she gained a lot of weight from her baby, the father left her (twice), and she's constantly moving cities and changing jobs and roommates because she can never stick to one place. Ever. She's actually been in her current location for a decent amount of time, but I know it's not going to last. It never does.

I don't really have much else to talk about. All I've been doing lately is watching movies and doing homework... Ugh. I'm totally not looking forward to next week because of all the upcoming quizzes and tests. I even have a mid-term a week from tomorrow... Lucky me.

So many of my old friends basically do nothing but drink and party when they're not working. Or, if they don't have jobs, it's all they ever do. I'm glad I got out of that scene after I moved away from Summerlin. I have this group of friends who go out to this certain gay bar every single Wednesday night, because that's goth night there. I went there for a while, but certainly not every Wednesday. Then I got bored of it because I realized that they played the same songs over and over, bar drinks aren't cheap, and a lot of the goth kids there look and act like teenagers. As they get wasted and end up making stupid mistakes by the end of the night, I'm happy knowing that I'm not.

Today Was Better.

I'm really sorry about last night, to whoever happened to read that. I was randomly in an emotional mood. It's interesting, because I used to be a very emotional person. I was one of those babies who cried all the time, and I used to cry myself to sleep almost every night when I was in elementary and middle school. I was especially emotional during my last relationship with Ben, because he was such a manipulative mind-fuck.

I ended up talking to Will last night about why I was upset. Not everything, just a few little things. Everything's fine now. I don't understand why I randomly got so emotional. I stopped being an emotional person about a year ago when I stopped talking to Ben. He had been my only source of emotion for a while.

Will and I drank some Beast last night, and my drunk ass ended up on Yahoo Messenger and iChat... Ugh. I probably fucked with so many strangers. I love getting online and then telling people lies about where I live. I always tell them that I live in Washington DC, and if they ask for my number, I give them a random 1-800 number. Half the time they fall for it, because I'm pretty sure the majority of them are from Egypt. Egyptians have nothing better to do than hang out in Yahoo chatrooms all day, apparently.

Today has been a pretty good day so far. Will and I went to Starbucks and got some lattes... It was actually the first time I had been to Starbucks in about four years, maybe even longer than that! I really hate coffee. When we were there, they wanted us to take that instant coffee challenge thing, because they're switching to instant coffee instead of brewed, or whatever. But we didn't take the challenge. I hate coffee, as I said before. Yuck.

We decided to watch Pan's Labyrinth before Will had to go to class today. It was very good! I hadn't seen it before, but Will had, and he had been pushing me into seeing it for a while. It took us forever to find one that had subtitles! Hopefully we'll have time to watch another movie tonight, but I'm not sure yet. I have a lot of studying to do for my Marketing mid-term, which is at noon tomorrow. I'm not as nervous as I was for my Accounting mid-term, though! That was last Thursday. I crammed for it. I'm pretty sure I didn't pass, but I know that I got the very last problem right, because my assets balanced with my liabilities and stockholders' equity. Even if I didn't pass, to know that I can balance a balance sheet is good enough news for me!

I have a friend named Nina who is the tour manager for a band called Hit The Lights. We were talking online last night. Right now she's touring with Fall Out Boy and Blink 182, and apparently she got to meet Will Ferrell last night because he's a fan of Blink! It's funny, because Nina and I are always quoting Step Brothers. She said that she was pretty much speechless when she met him and she really wants a do-over! I can't blame her. I hate getting all star-struck and not knowing what to say. That's how I felt when I met Maddox a few weeks ago... But that's another story.

Anyway, I'm off to do a TON of studying for that mid-term! Apparently we're covering an entire nine chapters on it, but the exam is mostly going to be about vocabulary and the learning objectives, so it's not going to be a terrible daunting exam like last week's. I still feel a little sick to my stomach thinking about it, though.

I'm in a really shitty mood right now. I'm sick of feeling like I'm the only one in this relationship who has passion. He doesn't seem to love me as much as I love him. Sometimes I feel like he loves me, but isn't in love with me. On top of this, I don't seem to get along with anyone else in his life. I've met his family and the majority of his friends, and I feel like they're just as indifferent to me as he is. As in, if we were to break up, they wouldn't really care.

It just hurts because in one of my previous relationships (the one that lasted the longest), I felt like I was a member of his family. All of our friends were mutual friends. His mom and dad loved me, and so did his little sister. It felt so right. But whenever I'm around my current boyfriend's family, it's just sort of awkward. Meaningless small talk. Oh, and I can't even crack jokes about his family, or he gets really quiet and won't talk to me. It's really stupid. On our six-month anniversary, he went on a vacation with his mom and his sister... So it definitely seems like he cares way more about his family than he does about me.

Earlier today on Facebook, I was pretty upset about this, so I made a status update... I didn't even go into specifics. It was just a metaphor for how I was feeling. So in reply, my mom goes, "Move back in with us, I promise it won't be as bad as it was before. You'll save on gas money!" (My college is right down the street from where my parents live.) I couldn't believe she had the nerve to publicly state that on my Facebook, so now all of my friends knew that my mom wanted me to move back home. I deleted her. And the status update.

To be honest, I feel like I'm all alone in this world right now. With nobody to talk to. I don't really have friends anymore because I've distanced myself from them. I can't exactly talk to my boyfriend about everything that's on my mind, because usually he's the one on my mind in the first place. Like right now.

Oh, another thing that bothers me... He really wants me to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with his family instead of mine. As if his family is more important than mine, or something, because he sure as hell won't celebrate holidays with my family. Maybe his last girlfriend did stuff like that with him, but not me. I should just break up with him a week before Thanksgiving so I don't have to bother with that upcoming conversation. It's not that I don't like his family, it's just that we're all strangers to each other. I have nothing in common with his family. I'm young. His parents are very, very old. Older than my parents. Old enough to be my grandparents. There's nothing we have to talk about. The thing is, even when I met his sister, who is only three years older than me... We had nothing to talk about. I can't just be myself and say whatever the fuck I want around them. They wouldn't understand. And I've already alienated a few of my boyfriend's friends because of being myself.

I thought this whole thing was fate, but if it was, wouldn't I get along better with his family and friends? And wouldn't we maybe have more in common? God, this is turning into my relationship with Brian all over again. Well, not exactly. I hated Brian. I love Will.

I think I'm even starting to make myself sick with all of this. I wish there was some reason behind why I'm feeling this way, but I haven't had a period in over two years. So I have no excuse. I'm not even an emotional person. Ever.

Whenever I pour my heart out, it's always for a guy who doesn't feel the same way. That's how it always works. My first serious boyfriend, Jake, the one who I had the longest relationship with... We had almost everything in common, and I loved him so much, but he would always break up with me because he would get crushes on other girls (whom he thought he had a chance with). Then, my last boyfriend, Ben... He was just a prick. I thought I was head-over-heels in love with him, and he cheated on me every chance he got. It took me FOREVER to get over him. I swore I would never go out with anyone again after him, at least not until I finished college. But then Will had to move back...

Why can't Will just be as passionate as I want him to be? Why can't he put me first? Because I decided to fall for a guy with a life, that's why. So what now? Do I just break up with him and move back in with my parents, just because I'm pretty sure this isn't going to work out in the long run and I don't want to waste my time?

I don't know. Everyone is going to tell me that I need to talk to him and tell him what's wrong. But he wouldn't understand, and even if he did, there's nothing he can do. You can't just force someone to be passionate. I'm doomed.

My Life. It Starts Now.

Hey Creepy Online People (just kidding), my name's Katie. Not Katherine... Just Katie. It even says that on my birth certificate. My mom hated the full name, and I don't blame her. It sounds incredibly old fashioned and plain. Then again, Katie isn't exactly a unique name. Oh well.

I guess we should get down to the basics. I'm a 22-year-old business student living in Eastland Heights. That's an area of Las Vegas, in case you didn't know. I'm actually from Summerlin (also in Vegas), but I recently moved to Eastland Heights to live with my boyfriend. Besides that, I lived in Summerlin for my entire life. That means I grew up and went to school with all the same people, most of whom turned out really fucked up. In other words, I don't mind being a little further from the people I used to know.

Let me give you an example of someone in my life who turned out... well, trashy, I guess. She was actually my first best friend. We met when I was in the first grade, and she was in the second. I was the only one who would be her friend because she smelled bad. Why did she smell bad? Because everyone in her family smoked, so her clothes and hair smelled like smoke. I didn't mind. It's just something you get used to, like a person's accent or whatever. Anyway, we were basically attached at the hip, but she had to move away.

I was pretty much a loner after that. I had no friends, and nobody to talk to. That is, until second grade came around (which seemed like ages even though it had to have been less than a year). Kelsey moved back (that's her name, duh). I was ecstatic. After that, we would hang out all the time, just like we used to. The thing was, she lived in a broken down trailer with her family, and my mom never approved. Her home life was definitely a foreshadowing of what would happen to her, but I was too young to understand any of that. Apparently her dad was in jail, her aunt lived in a bus, her mom was trashy and could never afford to live in the same place for long, and her brother and sister both had violent tendencies.

About a year ago, she found me on MySpace. Turns out, she had met the love of her life when she was only fifteen. Apparently the guy was twenty-two at the time. Now she's twenty-three, but they're still together and they have two kids. I think it's a little fucked up, but whatever. I think the daughter is like, eight years old. Which is weird. The daughter isn't her's, though, it's the dad's... from a previous relationship. Just... weird. Anyway, I deleted my MySpace about six months ago when I moved, so I haven't really heard from her at all. I don't really care to.

That's just one example of one of the people in my life who turned AWOL, or whatever you want to call it. I don't want to associate myself with people who have kids. I just don't. And it really fucking sucks, because I have like, four pregnant friends right now. Three of which were my best friends at different points in my life. Why do I befriend such trashy people? I know that sounds kind of fucked up and judgmental of me, but whatever. I'm twenty-two years old, and I've never had a desire to get pregnant, EVER. I don't think I'll ever have kids. I couldn't deal with them.

I'm in a pretty weird mood right now, so I might update again later, I might not. I still have some homework I have to take care of at some point tonight.